Tag Archives: funny

420 tales from the white widow

white widow cannabis strain

It all started with white widow. This almost trippy indica hybrid has stolen the show for decades. It is beautiful to grow, smoke and behold. When I was younger we used to whisper about this strain. Imagine if we were over there now boys, sitting back on one of those well worn couches in the Old Amsterdam Coffee shop! When we finally did make it over to Amsterdam, we embraced white widow like a mother embraces their long lost child. We were staying for a sunny weekend in late spring. In an effort to do something cultural we tried to find some famous art gallery or other. This adventure ended when we got confused and had to pause and seek shelter under a lamp post. We remained there until one of us built up the nerve to suggest we head back to the coffee shops in the red light district. The nights were a blur. We call Amsterdam the Dam back home. Well the Dam nearly swallowed us whole. I remember being in a bar and watching another group of stoners talking and having fun. The place was packed because it was a Friday night. One of their group got up to get a drink and he was obviously very stoned because as he went over to the bar he continued the conversation he was having when he was sitting at his table. It was strange to watch him roar at his friends over the heads of strangers and yet somehow it seemed normal.

On our final day in the Dam we all had early fights home to civilization. Everyone except Fiachra that was. He was living in Spain at the time and had a later flight back. We all packed our bags and checked out. With a few hours to kill before our flight we decided to get as stoned as possible. With time evaporating, like a marauding tribe we headed for the airport leaving poor old Fiachra to the Dam. At first he walked around, exploring some of the streets we hadn’t been on. As the minutes ticked along however, the slow, cold creep of paranoia took hold of him.  He started to become convinced that everyone was out to do him harm. Trying to dismiss the thought at first, soon it became the inevitable conclusion from obscure signs in his surrounding environment. A small breeze, yep, definite proof of a conspiracy. Two old people standing by the canal and checking their map, probably a signal to the others to come get him in a minute. As time passed in a vortex of fear and shame he was quite certain that he was about to be torn limb from limb by the maddening horde. Finally, with wrecked nerves he decided to put an end to it. He walked up to the largest person he could find (a big black dude standing outside a coffee shop) and asked him in him most confident, frightened little child’s voice, excuse me, is everyone here trying to kill me? The large man for a moment looked him square in the eye, then as his serious eyebrows lifted and his face broke into a gently smile he laughed, no man, your just stoned . . . With friendly human contact Fiachra was back in the land of the living.

Happy 420 everyone, love and laughter from Prague

The dangers of Prague pot cookies

“Something has happened”.

Those three words on a chilly Sunday morning were enough to warn me that something serious was going on. I tried calling, but only got a garbled, I can’t talk on the phone. ( To protect Sam from embarrassment, I am changing his name to Brian) I grabbed a warm jacket and rushed over to his place. There was no traffic to stop me or my mind from racing. “Brian” is a medical marijuana grower so I thought he had an accident feeding his young plants or worse. Opening the door to his apartment I could sense the waves of panic he was going through. Normally friendly and happy, Sam, I mean Brian was all business.

I was coming up the escalator from the supermarket when someone from the CIA took my picture he informed me in a hushed, frightened voice. He was slightly hunched over from the oppressive weight of surveillance. Now, not being an expert on security matters I couldn’t with all confidence say the CIA were not taking pictures of Brian, but I thought it was still quite unlikely. You have to remember it was Sunday morning, so the old brain was slow to kick into gear. Brian, have you been eating those pot cookies that we baked yesterday? Yes, I had one or two this morning, why?

I had a simply choice to make, reassure Brian that he is just a bit paranoid from the cookies, or play along with his paranoia. I looked him dead in the eye. Could you describe what this CIA operative looked like, I said. He was kind of fat and not very well dressed. My eyes opened wide, I have just seen him. He is standing out on the pavement taking pictures of this very apartment! We both moved to the window. Look, there he is I said. Out of the corner of my eye I could see the utter terror on Brian’s face and I couldn’t keep it together any longer. After a few moments of laughter , it must have registered how crazy he had sounded. After a quick look to make sure there was no CIA watching from the window, with relief and possibly a little embarrassment he laughed his ass off too.

Edibles are a fun way to consume cannabis, especially in Prague, but you do have to be careful not to eat too much. When cannabis is eaten, it moves from the stomach to the liver where it becomes 11-hydroxy-THC. This new compound can be four to five times more potent than THC, so even a hardened pot consumer can be floored by edibles. Less is more and all that!  If you have an edibles experience, both myself and “Brian” would love to hear about it.

Grandma is smoking pot!

This is a funny video of three beautiful women trying pot for the first time. If we were to listen to the government, then these people are criminals and should be locked in cages with rapists and murderers. It is three minutes and shows the true face of cannabis. Governments, hang your heads in shame!

Buying marijuana in Prague

Hello? Can you hear me? Ollie, it is me Frank. I want to buy some weed man.

Who is this?

Ollie it is me, remember?

Meet me at Namesti Miru church in half an hour.

buting marijuana Prague

So began one of the most painfully awkward pot purchases of my life. Ollie was starring in his very own James Bond movie. I was doctor Evil and he was going to out fox me in the end. Ollie was a thick set, giant of a Nigerian. I had met him on a drunken Prague night out and he gave me his number promising me marijuana beyond my wildest dreams. I stood, and then sat on the old gothic church steps at Namesti Miru as the minutes dragged along. It was a crisp, bright March day with a screamingly blue sky. I wanted some pot to lift my spirits. Little did I know, that I was being watched. After 45 minutes I got a call.

Hello, this is Ollie, are you a cop?

Yes Ollie, I am a fucking cop. I am standing around freezing my nuts off to bust you for the two grams of bush weed that you have stuffed down your trunks.

So you are cop?

No Ollie, that was a joke.

Ah, ok, meet me at the corner of the square in five minutes then.

Jesus wept, this wasn’t going well. I stood for a full minute debating my next move. This was clearly turning into an assault course purchase, and the question was, do I have the patience for it? A key factor in my compliance with his new directions was the fact that he had weed, and I didn’t. Standing at my new position, I finally saw Ollie walking towards me.

Follow me, Ollie 007 Bond whispered as he walked straight past me.

I had come too far now, I was physically and emotionally invested in seeing this sorry tale to the finish. Around the corner I strided to catch up.

What the fuck Ollie? What’s with all the drama.

They are watching us.

Who?

The government.

Oh dear, do you not remember me from the other night. We were in that Irish bar doing shots?

Look man, how much coke do you want?

Ollie, I said on the phone I was looking for weed. Do you have some?

Yes, yes. We will have to take a tram though.

On the tram we got. Ollie, sweating profusely now, trying to make light chit chat while maintaining his new ambition of selling me coke.

Coke is a lot of fun, he said.

buying marijuana prague

I can see from your current state that you are having a hell of a laugh I thought.

No thanks Ollie, coke isn’t really my style.

Half the city later we arrived at a rasta bar. Ollie said it would be polite to buy a beer before we got the weed. I had wasted the last couple of hours, and to be honest, I deserved a beer. We sat in an empty green and gold Jamaican themed dive bar. The bar man and DJ (yes there was a DJ at 3:30 in the afternoon) were staring at me like I had walked in with ebola. In my mind, I knew eventually this day would end. I just didn’t know how or when!

Ollie got the nod from the barman. They both disappeared into the tropical darkness as I thankfully sipped on my cold, familiar Pilsner beer. It is times like this when you wonder, is this worth it? Yes I like getting stoned, but at what cost? The government thinks it is bad, you know what, maybe they are right. I mean they wouldn’t just straight lie to . . .

Ollie came back with a big grin. A coke grin which I hope at least included some weed for me.

Here you are my friend.

He had done it, Ollie 007 Bond had defeated his paranoia and successfully obtained marijuana for a broken spirited customer. What a guy.

Do you want to smoke with us? I had evidently passed some obscure test.

Smoke with two coked up dudes that just made me jump through pot hoops, well I guess it would be rude not to !!

buying marijuana prague

 

 

 

 

 

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